Look the things we do to get by. And I ain't even trippin' 'bout what people gotta do to get by. It's a way of life, it's a lifestyle and I never been the type of person who'll knock someone else's hustle. Long as they're doing right by them and ain't hurting no one, what would I do? Hate it on it? No I've always appreciate and respected others, even be happy and proud of them for being so driven to get things done their way.
The time, hard work and efforts we put into our goals and dreams. No one sees the days and nights being mentally and emotionally drained. Throwing our own mental health and just psychical health to the side to meet due dates and guidelines. People see the finished product; the ending result but no one has seen how long it took to get there. All the nights of crying, obsessing over perfection. Trialing and error, revamping every little detail because enough will never being enough. Overly obsessing over everything and anything
Not even crediting ones self for taking time; for removing ourselves from living our real lives, Staying out of living in the moment with people we love and care but the drive, drives us mad itself. Even when we go out or try to, ending up leaving early just to overwork ourselves again. The craving of wanting to reach success, being successful before even being happy without even realizing, success is a pavement in which we are living everyday when we make just tiny steps of reaching any short and long term goals.
I've already mastered the key art to letting myself and others down, I never rest, I am restless and I want things to be done over-night. Not being patient enough. Time doesn't stop, it moves forward, so do people. So does technology and everything else. There's no time to rest, no time to eat and sleep sometimes. I want to reach every single goal I planned in the last few years. I still haven't stopped to taken a breather from this long run in this journey I call life. With school, with work, my life, side hobbies and this entire brand. There is not enough time in a day to manage everything but I did it. I finally fucking did it.
I did everything I could, I accomplished everything I planned and told myself. Yet why does it not feel fulfilling? Was it just not significant enough? I never even have time to myself, I'm consistent. I am doing the most to make sure everything is perfect. I want my arts, my crafts and creativity to be perfect. I don't want to spend time trying to stand out to others meanwhile just falling into the same population. Ending up fitting in like every other business, company and the ideology of others, society and the universe itself.
I don't want recognition, I don't want sympathy, empathy or even love. I want my work to speak louder in silence and who I am to only show as in terms of respect and companionship. The craftsmanship behind it. The dedication and motivation it takes to even get up and go out to do the bare minimum of being normal and living life has gone underrated for me.
I'm fucking exhausted. Even when I'm up day dreaming my reality or actually really sleeping and dreaming, I keep having dreams of manifestation of my future now. Sometimes its my past life. But for the most part, it has been my pathways of the future I crave. I crave nothing more than being successful. I think the find of love and sole purpose of wanting to be happy isn't a factor to me anymore. I don't care about being happy. I care about being alive, being content with what I have so I can flip all of that and turn it into something more beautiful and meaningful.
The basics of healing is taking away the pain of coexisting. Sometimes I don't think I belong in this world anymore. I don't want to live life in auto pilot anymore. I want something new and fun without it having to do with work, school and just this brand. I want something that genuinely makes me HAPPIER than this brand. This is my baby, this is my favorite thing in it's time being. I love how it brings out a side of me I never knew I had. It's almost as if I am learning new things about things but also myself.
Part of me always knew I was destined to do this kind of stuff, you know? But time doesn't sleep or stop; neither does money. To me, I'm already rich. Well off. Wealth in forms of my own therapy and being it for others without being too attached. It all started here. Wealth in my mindset, the way I carry myself, the way I have gotten so lucky with things and people I got now. I think that's the kind of hustle I've been aiming for.
Good morning world. 💙