I can't help but to reminisce all the good times I had with you. All the good and the bad. With all the time of distractions. My guilty conscience won't leave me alone. "I can't lie to you, I'm in love with you." With who you are, with your soul. With you. Time doesn't change anything but made me realize, it has been you this whole time. I'm still in love. I can't stop thinking about what it could've been and would've been. I need you in my life as much as you need me in yours. It never changed. The thoughts, the emotions of wanting you back. And time runs funny for me, I'm always on the run, I never quite settle in one place. I'm always running from something. The reason why I ran from you was you gave me everything I pleased for, everything I was deserving of. It was easier at the time to just pack up and leave. It was easier to run away from the thoughts of being with you than just simply be with. It's hard to justify being with someone I didn't deserve. Even when you thought I was deserving of your love, I just never felt like I was deserving of it. I felt as if you deserved something more; someone more. It wasn't me. I wasn't in the right place of mind, heart and soul. All I had to offer was my love and to me, that wasn't enough. Not for you, you derived more than just a broken soul. A human corpse that was living life in auto pilot. Maybe timing wasn't right for us and it is what it is. Maybe in another lifetime, I'd be the one for you. The only thing for you. Just not right now. We're two different people who just wanted different things. I thought time will tell. I thought that time will heal. I thought it would change all that I feel for you. I didn't want to be the only one that was fighting for you, for your time, and for your love. I was tired of meeting people like you. I was terrified of being with someone who had it together, who knew exactly what they wanted but got cold feet when it came down to it. How can someone be in love with me too but never fought to be with me? We all want something we can't have. It's the bittersweet luxury of being human. Being alive and being in love so young. We never mend the right ingredients together to get the right result. Publish
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