At times I feel lost. Like really really lost. And there are times where I feel like I barely exist anymore. I mean all this time. I’ve been forgotten by those who swore they love me most. It’s like I’m not loved anymore.
These souls that I’ve made ties with, people who I thought and so they thought they’d love me for a lifetime. Forever. But forever does not exist in the realm of those who promised me they’d stay. Even when life got hard for me. Even when I was hurting so fucking badly, I’ve made room for the pain of others. I felt their pain with them when their own suffering and sorrows ate them nearly to death.
I love with all depths and longevity. It’s hard to control my emotions—when I feel, I feel it all. When I love, I love so fucking deep. I feel so fucking deep. All the pain, all the happiness. There’s no room for doubt of how much my loyalty lies. There’s no room for half ass bullshit. And when I love, I love so endlessly. Man the miles I’d go to see mine happy.
But like I said, nothing is forever... I break my own damn fucking heart every time I think other people have the same as mine. And yes; I want fucking closure because I fucking deserve it. I deserve to know where I could’ve fucking went wrong. I deserve to know why people don’t stay.
Looking back now, I’ve done so much for those people who abandoned me. Out of love because that’s the fucking type of person I am. In the end, I’m alone.
And I feel so alone in this shit.